Some months ago I took a program management class, at the end of the session, almost as a little coda or afterthought, we received our very own Insights Discovery Personal Profile. We'd been asked to complete a set of questions beforehand, which looked like another one of those personality tests. The result turned out to be one of the main learnings I took away from the class.
In the past I'd benefited from taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test to learn more about myself and how I interact with others, but I didn't expect much from this one. Boy, was I surprised when I received my 21-page packet! The Insights Discovery version tackles personality from an angle that is directly relevant to both personal and professional situations, and provides, well, insights, and guidance that are affirming, enlightening, and uncannily spot-on.
There were several themes that I'd always known about myself, but hadn't taken to this level of analysis. The report's suggestions for ways I can develop further included the following:
- Developing short cut methods to meet deadlines
- This definitely speaks to my desire for perfection, regardless of the task. Sometimes I even ask myself, "Why am I trying to do such a thorough job here when it's not necessary?" and I usually answer, "If you're going to do it, do it well!" Unfortunately, I'm rather demanding of myself. Although, let it be known that when there's a deadline, I'm definitely making it.
- Being less sensitive to the needs of others
- This is when I think, yes, yes, I know, but, as E.M. Forster wrote in his novel Maurice, "Can a leopard change its spots?" Perhaps not, but I realize that it's possible to keep one's true nature and yet enact subtle changes based on one's own situational perspective. On the flip side, this trait is one of my biggest assets that people consistently tell me about.
- Taking the occasional risk by deciding only on the information available. It may be better to make a poor decision than no decision at all
- Really? I'm not quite sure on this one yet. I'm naturally given to action - I tend to feel a sense of urgency when something important to me is at stake. And yet, a poor decision in lieu of no decision? Isn't making no decision a decision in and of itself? I think that's an important distinction. Hmm.
- Articulating her ideas, rather than keeping them to herself
- Because it's in my nature to strive for harmony, I tend to want to hear what everyone says first, then do research, and then feel okay about saying what I have to say, because 1) I'll have the context of how people involved feel about the matter, and 2) I'll be able to back it up. I've also noticed that sometimes if I don't say anything, it's taken as either tacit agreement or disagreement - this is not intended. I just want to take it all in, and think about it.
There were a few more, but I'd like to focus on the above, as they figure prominently in my mind. I'd struggled with these personality aspects before, trying to analyze the reactions and feedback of others and finding out how they interpreted my actions or inactions. Recently, I've felt my interactions in particular situations becoming a bit easier, and you know what? The reason seems a bit like a dirty secret: I simply began to care less.
Please don't take this to mean that I no longer care about what I do and those around me; since I start out by being super careful and sensitive to everyone around me, my caring less still means I'm highly primed to be aware. The difference is that I no longer let it completely prevent me from expressing myself or taking action when I need to. The second-guessing is no longer debilitating.
I'm still working on it (everything in life is a work in progress - onward and upward!), but it's reassuring to know that the leopard can keep her spots and still hold her place in the jungle.
