I've recently begun to see that I have a worst enemy. You may wonder, why even consider the concept of a worst enemy? Shouldn't we all work in harmony?
Yes, we should! But I came to realize that my own worst enemy is ...
Me.
I don't mean to be overdramatic; I only mean to emphasize that I am capable of thwarting myself even when I believe I'm doing everything I can to excel. The time this unexpected false friend tends to comes to life is when I feel the need to prove myself.
I am beginning to realize that this affects how I communicate with others and how I work. It's most dangerous because it distracts me from my true goals and hampers my ability to focus on what really counts. This phenomenon is two-pronged:
1) The desire to prove to others that I am good enough, that I can handle it
2) The desire to prove to myself that I am good enough, that I can handle it
These may seem similar, but there are slightly different consequences to each. In the first case, I may overstylize a movement in rehearsal to try to stand out when I'm supposed to blend in with other dancers, disrupting the harmony in the choreographer's eyes. At the office, I may end up chiming into an email thread or discussion where I am not really an owner or stakeholder, but I feel the need to show that I know something about the situation. Not only does this not add value to others, they're probably wondering why I said anything at all.
In the second case, more dangerously, I may take on more than I can do safely and risk depleted health and injury. At the office, equally dangerously, I may subconsciously avoid asking for help because I want to show myself that I am capable of accomplishing something, unaided.
This brings me to an important point: Asking for help is not only okay, in many situations, it is the courageous thing to do! Admitting to yourself that you need some guidance or support requires humility and collaboration - both good things.
In the end, I can't help but think back to the phrase "Get over it!", which was the title of an earlier post, but in this case I take it to mean that I am not that big of a deal. If I do my due diligence and reach out to others in collaboration, people will understand naturally what I'm good at and what they can come to me for. There is absolutely no need for me to overdo it or try to hit people over the head with poorly targeted communications that seem to come out of left field. This doesn't help anyone, and hurts mostly me!
It's more humble pie, and hopefully better awareness to a smoother and more fruitful working life. In the end, I hope this brings me more inner harmony. If I trust in myself, I won't feel the need to prove myself at all!
Yes, we should! But I came to realize that my own worst enemy is ...
Me.
I don't mean to be overdramatic; I only mean to emphasize that I am capable of thwarting myself even when I believe I'm doing everything I can to excel. The time this unexpected false friend tends to comes to life is when I feel the need to prove myself.
I am beginning to realize that this affects how I communicate with others and how I work. It's most dangerous because it distracts me from my true goals and hampers my ability to focus on what really counts. This phenomenon is two-pronged:
1) The desire to prove to others that I am good enough, that I can handle it
2) The desire to prove to myself that I am good enough, that I can handle it
These may seem similar, but there are slightly different consequences to each. In the first case, I may overstylize a movement in rehearsal to try to stand out when I'm supposed to blend in with other dancers, disrupting the harmony in the choreographer's eyes. At the office, I may end up chiming into an email thread or discussion where I am not really an owner or stakeholder, but I feel the need to show that I know something about the situation. Not only does this not add value to others, they're probably wondering why I said anything at all.
In the second case, more dangerously, I may take on more than I can do safely and risk depleted health and injury. At the office, equally dangerously, I may subconsciously avoid asking for help because I want to show myself that I am capable of accomplishing something, unaided.
This brings me to an important point: Asking for help is not only okay, in many situations, it is the courageous thing to do! Admitting to yourself that you need some guidance or support requires humility and collaboration - both good things.
In the end, I can't help but think back to the phrase "Get over it!", which was the title of an earlier post, but in this case I take it to mean that I am not that big of a deal. If I do my due diligence and reach out to others in collaboration, people will understand naturally what I'm good at and what they can come to me for. There is absolutely no need for me to overdo it or try to hit people over the head with poorly targeted communications that seem to come out of left field. This doesn't help anyone, and hurts mostly me!
It's more humble pie, and hopefully better awareness to a smoother and more fruitful working life. In the end, I hope this brings me more inner harmony. If I trust in myself, I won't feel the need to prove myself at all!
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