That’s a question that you may hear from Steve Sisgold, one of the warmest and most engaging people you’ll ever meet. Here’s a person who genuinely cares about you, and wants you to know how all the answers you need to make your life better than it’s ever been are already within you - your own personal Google!
I can’t take credit for that unique turn of phrase. I met Steve when he came to give a talk at Google last quarter (check it out on YouTube!).
The main premise of Steve’s wisdom is that if we take notice of and listen to what our bodies are trying to tell us, we can then begin to understand where our anxieties are coming from and thus overcome them to find our truer, happier selves. He is the author of the book “What’s Your Body Telling You?”, through which you can gain deeper insight on this unique way of assessing our personal wellness.
I find this a thrillingly simple way of “working with what you have”. We were born with generations of “fight or flight” instincts - our brain and bodies are still wired to help us run away from a charging saber-toothed tiger in our prehistoric days, or to freeze when we see a snake in our path. But what happens when these instincts kick in when we’re not immediately threatened by literal situations of life or death?
The result is that we’ve learned how to suppress these instincts to a certain extent. But in doing so, are we neglecting the most important signal to understanding ourselves at that moment, to remain forever blind to the keys that could very well unlock our own potential in these crucial moments?
Let’s put it more personally: Have you ever felt a surge within you when you feel strongly about something, only to dismiss it? Do you ever tell yourself, “That’s ridiculous - there’s no way this is possible,” even before you’ve fully articulated your deepest desires? This is one way dreams are nipped in the bud.
The key is to be open to possibility, and to make yourself vulnerable. All it takes to begin this journey to self-knowledge is simply to notice what your body’s doing at any given moment. Steve calls this your Body Quotient, or BQ.
How does this work? Take a moment and just breathe. Focus on the quality of your breathing. What do you notice? Steve invited us to try this little exercise, and we all discovered something new. I inhaled deeply quite easily, but found I could not exhale fully. It struck me that in general I listen to others well and can absorb a lot of stress, but it can be difficult for me to relax and shake loose. My breathing could very well reflect this. It was a wonderful moment of insight, shared by my fellow participants in their own way.
Our bodies our also like a database of all the experiences we’ve ever had. If you don’t know why your mind is willing but the rest of you is not, ask your body: What are beliefs that I carry in my body that prevent me from doing what I want? This is what Steve meant by tapping into your own personal Google.
What do we mean by ‘beliefs we carry in our bodies’? Steve told a story about a man who cringed whenever colleagues patted him on the back; they thought he was just weird, but it turned out that when this man was growing up his older brother would slap him on the back quite unpleasantly. The man was mentally receptive to his colleagues’ good will, but his body remembered the negative experience associated with the gesture and instinctively he would shrink away. Once he realized what was causing his behavior, he was able to communicate it. To his relief, nobody thought this was strange at all, and his colleagues began to express their approval in a non-physical way. This is the mind-body connection at work.
Focusing on your body is a startlingly simple way to understand yourself and to navigate life’s challenges starting with you: it’s about listening to your body, and what it’s telling you - right now!
So listen, and articulate what you’re feeling. You may very well learn why you experience certain anxieties that prevent you from doing what you want, and thus unlock the keys to overcoming them.
Want to learn more about the mind-body connection? Check out Steve SIsgold’s site and his book! If you have read Steve's book, watched his videos, or have attended one of his events, please share anything you’ve noticed or learned as a result of applying Steve’s teachings - I look forward to hearing from you!
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